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| Sunday, March 27, 2005
void/empty Writer : Charlene LimMy friend Spencer once wrote a poem called '...space, void, zero' or something on the lines of nothingness. It is interesting that his poem is coming to mind now. Space, void, zero. Whoa. The depth of dark nothingness within could have inspired my friend to write something so poignant and despairing. I guess feelings of despair are not uncommon to us, at least not to us writer types who like to spend time in solitude, ruminating. We take the Christian's 'quiet time' to the dark side, indulging in our sorrows without bringing it to resolution, while coming up with some pretty good writing. Why should pain, misery and sorrow engineer our writing? Shouldn't joy spark off effortless words too? I think about when I'm real happy. The last thing I want to do is to keep myself in the room to write about my highs. I usually remember what I want to write when I am high and write them down after. 'Strengthen me to follow you..my God' The electric guitar does something to the song. The struggle to follow God; how one does not have the will but fights nevertheless to stay alive. Not give in to sin, sadness but tries to seek God in moroseness. Oh God take my sorrow away. I would do anything to trade my sorrow for joy. Jesus come and fill me up with more love than ever. There is a gaping hole in my heart that is aching to be healed. Lord, come. It is amazing when I cry out to nothing else but God to take away my pain, God answers. Whether through a song or scripture, it is as if a door in my heart opens and I am invaded. I hear the words like it is spoken directly to me, as if someone is talking to me through them. This is Holy Spirit. No fanfare. But quiet and gentle. If you are hurting today, do not call me. Resist the urge to do anything else but seek God. Of course if you are feelings suicidal please call someone! Otherwise, cancel all appointments, kneel on the floor and scream, 'Jesus!' JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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