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| Tuesday, April 05, 2005
it's too late to write Writer : Charlene Limtim tams 3, bowl of spaghetti at 10pm!, cup of soya bean milk (reduced sugar!) Calories - don't wanna know. Brimming with inspiration. Wanna write about my walk back from hospital: peering into people's house. Especially drawn to houses with yellow or orange lighting, plants in the balconies and wooden fixtures esp on door frams and window panes. Already have dream home in mind. Want lotsa lotsa shelves. Nevermind if not enough books/CDs/DVDs to fill space. Will buy. Money will not be a problem at 35. Will hang pictures of self and parents at various stages of growth on wall. Will pick pics with personality instead of boring, just-smile-at-the-camera types. Pick good cute shots of self and frame up. Won't mind nude pic of self, just tastefully done! Will keep cat definitely. Erm...will hang pendant lamps. Buy a vinyl player and blast Saturday night fever when alone and celebrating solitude. Buy coffee maker and stay at home to savour endless cups of caffeine, since Christian and shouldn't smoke or drink excessively? Don't mind a gin and tonic now and then. Wondering if will turn into alcoholic? Caffeine-addict. Hmm. Think self already caffeine addict considering feelings of unexplained 'emptiness' when off the beverage. Argh. Do hope married by 30s. If not chuck idea and live happily ever after with self and friends. Always have Jesus to count on anyways. At least He does not have issues about self, ego and open communication. Hahahah! Already looked into coffers. Have enough to purchase a gleaming laptop. Think thinkpad will do fine. Although Dell has good offers. Will look into it soon enough. Can imagine the novels that will be churned out from jibber jabber of keys under my fingers. It would be pure bliss...bliss. Ain't it a brand of underwear? Oh nah underwear's brand is Blush. Oh too pricy to pay $99 to cup one's boobs unless someone else is going to see it. Will settle with Marks and Spence. Can't say 'Spencer' cos name of friend. Would be very very odd to have 'underwear' and 'Spencer' in the same sentence. Yar... Am wondering what kinda boyfriend will be like at 35. Would he be 40? Oh gosh cannot imagine man in tailored pants and Tag Hauer watch standing in the doorway waiting for me to go for dinner. 30 somethings have a funny way of speaking. They don't say 'cool' or 'happening' anymore. Their lingo is deeply fossilised in their 20s. Weird, weird, weird. Want to still date when date is togged in Levi's and Crumplers. When he can still go around in spiky hair and earrings. Better still can still speak to one another in skater lingo without feeling expired. Perhaps can pass off as 19 year old...conspire, conspire...want to go drinking and puke all over and not feel dumb as ass. Have fun basking in the sun while we enjoy OJ in beachwear...er... Ain't that many guys to date these days. Frightful to go on dates cos risk evening of total awkwardness, forcing self to find solace in SMSing friends or worse, find emergency exit to bolt from creepy fella. Lotsa creepy fellas out there. Sadly, Christian too. Especially Christian ones! Like, do appreciate celibacy and propriety and chivalry, but ain't no style, no dress sense, no... Perhaps should show more grace to men. Christian men...Lord grant me more grace for Christian guys. Forgive me for judging them for being under-exposed and ignorant of world. Maybe self is under-exposed too. Do know very little about financial planning and cars. 1:33am Time to sleep. Gotta rest if not will not wake up to service pay check. May bump into cute doctor too and must rest skin for glow. Hahah...do know self is already very beautiful. No worries, God will provide.
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